A Soul-Safe Home

A Soul-Safe Home
by tammie renea

         We all deserve to have a soul-safe home; one that is comforting and inviting, where the soul feels happy and at peace. A soul-safe home gives us the freedom to be ourselves in a supportive and nurturing environment. We have the time and space to care for ourselves and to explore our creative passion while supporting our family members as they do the same.

        Just as we take the time to check the weather forecast before determining what to wear on a given day, or whether to take an umbrella with us when leaving the house, it is also important to routinely check the weather conditions inside our home. Is it bright and sunny? A bit drizzly? Is there a slight breeze blowing, or maybe a strong wind? Perhaps a full-blown thunderstorm is underway. We become so accustomed to going about our day-to-day business without taking the time to stop and look around us that we sometimes allow some very significant issues to go unnoticed.

         We can get a general feel for the climate in our home by asking ourselves some basic questions and answering them honestly.

These are just a few examples:

Does one individual typically set the "mood" in our home?

Do we usually wait to see what that mood is before asking for our needs or before making decisions?

Does the "energy" in our home change depending on whether a particular family member is present?

Is there a general sense of "intensity" in the air?

Are family members talking to one another in a respectful tone of voice and offering support and encouragement whenever needed?

Do we feel physically and emotionally safe with one another?

Are we avoiding or hiding things from one another? If so, why?

Are we maintaining a general sense of "calm," or does the atmosphere feel chaotic?

Are we ignoring problems that seem insurmountable?

If so, are we seeking help and utilizing resources that are available to us?

         It's a terrible feeling to dread returning to your own home. It's extremely unsettling when we don't know what to expect each time we walk through the door or from one moment to the next. Family dynamics vary, depending on the spiritual condition of each individual. Our needs, wants, and desires have a deep impact on those around us. While it's important to evaluate our family as a whole, it does little good if we are not willing to evaluate ourselves as individuals.

         Within a soul-safe home, everyone is equally human. Each individual is given the freedom to live authentically. Every opinion matters. The needs and desires of one person do not set the tone or agenda for the entire family. It is not up to one person to decide how everyone else will feel and behave. No one person's thoughts or feelings are more valid than another's. There is room for disagreement and for the exchange of ideas. Differences are respected, never shamed. In a soul-safe home, bumps in the road are handled by keeping communication open and honest while the family works toward resolution together. Responsibilities are shared and do not fall on the shoulders of any one person alone.

         Having a soul-safe home allows everyone to feel at ease. There are no threats of physical, emotional, or verbal harm. If we feel physically or emotionally vulnerable in the presence of our own family, our home is not soul-safe. It can be difficult to admit that our home isn't as soul-safe as it could be (and every home has room for improvement), but it's the first step to creating an improved environment in which everyone can live and breathe freely.